Don’t Let Your Regrets Hold You Back

When we identify the things that hold us back and start to move past them, we realize that we have a hand in choosing our attitudes about our circumstances and our lives. We are empowered to push through the challenges because we know that victory lies ahead.

But what if this process of discovery is not as easy as I have described? What if in our quest to discover what holds us back, we unearth a regrettable moment in our past? What if the regret was so strong that we buried it deep inside our subconscious, so it never again sees the light of day? Do we try to shove it back into our subconscious? Or do we finally allow that memory to teach us something?

The subject of today’s post is regret. Merriam-Webster defines regret as ‘sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one’s control to repair.’ The key words being, ‘beyond one’s control to repair.’ Most of us cry over the proverbial spilled milk when we experience feelings of regret, almost as though if we shed enough tears we could somehow go back in time and make a different choice.

If we could, some would go back to make different choices, but this wouldn’t be practical, because it would take away from who we are. We are a collection of our experiences. Our experiences and our unique characteristics make us who we are. So if we go back to erase wrong choices that we have made, we are erasing a part that makes us unique and we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn from life.

Remember that when you are faced with certain decisions and you take one choice over the other, you are making a decision based on where you are emotionally, physically and psychologically in your life. I am not saying that every wrong choice is okay. What I am saying is that even if we made the wrong choice, we still get an opportunity to learn from it and advise someone else not to make that choice.

Can we still have a successful future if we have made wrong choices? Of course…people do it everyday. It is called ‘forgetting what’s behind and moving ahead…towards the goal.’ When we are faced with feelings of regret, we must make the choice to move forward despite what our feelings may want us to do.

So, back to the question posed at the beginning of this post. Do we try to shove our regrets back into our subconscious? Or do we finally allow that memory to teach us something?

I would certainly vote for the latter. When we realize we have made wrong choices and feel regrets, it is best to just allow ourselves to briefly experience them, pull the lessons that we are supposed to learn and then give these feelings a proper burial.

We must not hold on to them regret because they will prevent us from experiencing the amazing gift of life.